It’s Always Something, Isn’t It?
“Linda Mazur is the President of The Emilee Connection Inc. She is also a mom, author, business owner, podcast host, and passionate eating disorder and mental health advocate. She resides in Penfield, New York with her husband, Jack and their three Havanese pups.”
Roseanne Roseannadanna, Gilda Radner’s character on Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update, made us laugh with her wacky solutions to people’s problems. She was a comedic genius that created the zany character and wrote the skits for the weekly show beginning in 1975.
Every Saturday night she’d read a letter from a fan which began with, “Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna.” And whatever issue the fictitious reader was asking for advice about, at some point, Roseanne Roseannadanna would say,
“It’s always something… it’s one thing or another.”
And you know, she was exactly right.
No matter your sex, your intelligence, level of education, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, or ethnicity, and no matter how well things are going at the present time, there is always going to be something that comes along and changes your plans, rocks you to your core, inconveniences you, prevents you from moving forward, pursuing your dream, or keeps you from cleaning out your closet.
At least there are some things we can count on.
The most Important things we can do are to lower our expectations of ourselves and of others and realize we cannot control every situation. Every person who inhabits this earth is human by design. This is earth, not heaven, and things will not go smoothly all the time. We are not supposed to be perfect in any way, shape, or form. It’s wonderful to strive to do our best, yet we must realize our best is different each day given our state of mind, how much sleep we’ve managed to get, how our body is feeling and the energy we have. What we can do is accept our humanness and choose how we react when our best laid plans flop. Every crisis is an opportunity. I believe we are here to learn and grow and perhaps sometimes we can learn and grow best when things fall apart.
A new year has just begun, and most of us have a backlog of New Year’s Resolutions that we’ve abandoned; some as soon as the second week in January, and there are many of us, me included, that have not bothered to make New Year’s Resolutions in years.
Perhaps you will join me this year in setting intentions that are not, all or nothing attempts at rewiring our whole selves, but set intentions to be gentle with ourselves when things fall apart. I wholeheartedly like myself, but this year I am going to work on truly loving myself, being gentle with myself, and realistic in my expectations of myself and of others. My intention is to focus on gratitude, to think before I speak, stand up for things, causes and people I believe in, and to speak up for myself when I am offended or hurt. I also intend to work on practicing what I preach when it comes to self-care, slowing down and being mindful.
In my heart, I believe I can still do everything at warp speed while juggling five different size balls in the air at the same time, but that isn’t working so well for me lately because I am extremely human, and though I still think of myself as being in my 40’s, truth be told, I am not.
And getting back to the ever-wise Roseanne Roseannadanna, I am pretty sure there were lots of things that went wrong on the Saturday Night Live set, then and now, because it’s filmed before a live studio audience. But the show must go on, right?
Let’s strive to be adaptable and go with the flow, let go, get out of our own heads, remember to do things that feed our souls, nourish our beautiful bodies, and perhaps do kind things for somebody else.
We also need to remember how important it is to smile, laugh, and find humor where we can. It keeps those good endorphins flowing even when the little things don’t go according to Hoyle.
And when things do go very wrong and the world as you know it is turned upside down, please reach out and seek help. Whatever you are going through, you are not alone. Confide in family and friends, go to counseling, seek medical care, and do not underestimate the power of peer support and social connection from compassionate individuals who have walked a similar walk.
I’m grateful to Gilda Radner for making us laugh, and for helping her fans to stop taking themselves so seriously all the time. And even more importantly, for the way she handled her terminal illness. Her husband, Gene Wilder, and therapist Joanna Bull founded Gilda’s Club in honor of her legacy, because Gilda benefitted from and was grateful for peer support groups that she attended for those with cancer which also provided support for their families, friends, and caregivers. Gilda’s Club is now Cancer Support Community and serves people nationwide.
What I did not realize until looking up facts about Gilda Radner for this blog post, was that Gilda Radner was overweight as a child, and as a result she struggled with eating disorders when she was in her teens and beyond.
Another example of eating disorders affecting the most wonderful, gifted people. Eating disorders are never a choice, they are serious illnesses that can be life threatening, and can develop at any age.
Wishing All of You Love, Happiness, Health, and Lots of Wonderful Connections!
Linda